Being Rose

These past 9 days have been something I've never experienced before. Matt and the four oldest kids are in Missouri, and Daisy and I stayed home. Matt went up to help his sister Melissa with house renovations and the kids went to play with cousins and give Mamma a break. Daisy still doesn't sleep all night (getting there though) so I really didn't want to make the trip. It's a 10 hour trip on a good day, counting a quick stop for food and some bathroom breaks, but 12 hours is closer to what it usually ends up being. Matt wanted us to take two vehicles this time to give us more flexibility while we were there, and make travelling less crowded, but I couldn't see staying alert for 12 hours after broken sleep the night before. Plus needing to stop and nurse Daisy (that's not the best way to combat sleepiness either). Matt was okay with me not going, and even agreed to take 4/5 of our kids along. :)

The first 4 days I cleaned closets, cleaned our room (it's been needing that for months) so now we can see so much floor it looks like the room has grown in size, cleaned house, cleaned bathrooms, folded 2-3 loads of laundry, cleaned the playroom, slept when I needed it, ate when I felt like it, watched movies, and the only thing I had to re-clean was what I messed up. :) No stray toys in the living room, no crumbs in odd places. I even learned how to dance the macarena one night by watching a youtube video. :) Tried a few swing dancing steps but that was a little tougher, especially without a dancing partner.

 Daisy slept pretty well and made it easy for me to complete the projects and chores I started. That was something I've not been able to do much for the past 8 years. With little ones there are always needs, and with 5 little ones there are too many needs to make focusing on any project very feasible.

On Sunday I decided to call my friend Amy in Tuscaloosa, AL and see if she wanted some company. Her husband was going to be out of town Tuesday through Thursday so we decided Daisy and I would go up Tuesday morning. I looked into taking Amtrak just for fun, but it was going to cost nearly $100, twice what gas was going to cost me to drive it.

It's about 3 1/2 hours to drive it straight through, but why would I want to do that when I could take my time and see and do things I normally couldn't? Mom had told me about a restaurnt in Meridian, MS called Weidmann's so I decided to try it for lunch. Growing up in Lucedale I'm only barely familiar with one-way streets. I know the principal behind them, alternating directions every street, but trying to keep up with that and look for the correct street and find parking close to the building you need caused a little extra driving. But it was fun. The food at Weidmann's was wonderful. I had crabcakes, glazed sweetpotatoes, and salad. It's the oldest restaurnat in MS and the building was beautiful.

We got to Amy's about 4:00, making it a 5 hour trip. We settled in and the non-stop visiting began. Her three kids were so sweet, and made it easy for us to spend time catching up. Wednesday morning a babysitter came and watched her kids so we could go to Birmingham for the day. We went to see the Vulcan statue on Red Mountain and looked out over the city. Even though it was very hot that day, there was a wonderful breeze up at the observation point near the top of the tower. We took the glass elevator going up, and the 124 stairs coming down. There was very nice museum on the grounds as well, telling the history of the statue, and a seperate,  interesting display callled Beyond Barbeque and Baklava explaining the history of Greeks in Birmingham. It was after noon so our bellies were telling us to find somewhere to eat, and we got really hungry walking through that display.

I borrowed this from online. Why didn't we think of taking a picture like this?

We found a place to eat in a downtownish area: Jackson's Bar and Bistro. I ordered fish tacos and Amy got a crabcake BLT. We shared and both were delicitous. The chocolate chip cookie dough eggroll was tempting (cookie dough fried in an eggroll wrap) but we were saving room for dessert at the Cheesecake Factory. I'd never eaten there before and was amazed at the size of it and the size of the menu. I ordered carrot cake cheesecake and Amy had Godiva chocolate cheesecake. The slices were huge, but I managed to eat all mine. :)

While we were driving around we saw a furniture store called Nadeau, Furniture with a Soul. The name made us laugh and would have been a good enough reason to go in, but they had such neat looking furniture displayed on the sidewalk that we just had to stop and see what else there was. The furniture is all new, but made to look like old pieces re-done. And not all of it is the "weathered" look you see so much of. Some of it looks like old styles with fresh, bright colors. You can go to their website and scroll through pictures of their items. Mom, you would really like this place.

(I borrowed this from their website, bless their souls.)

We got back to Amy's about 7:30, so it wasn't long before the kids were in bed and we could watch a movie. Amy made us a junky snack of oven-toasted Doritos with cheese melted on top to eat while we watched.

Thursday morning we all got in her van and she drove me through the areas that were damaged and destroyed by the mile-wide tornado last April. Areas that had been subdivisions are now weedy fields, schools are completely gone, a lake that had previously had so many huge houses around it you could hardly see the lake was bare and open around it now. Some homes were deserted because the damage was so bad. It was a sobering way to end a lovely trip, but something I didn't want to leave without having seen.

I had a coupon for Logan's Roadhouse Grill so Daisy and I stopped in for lunch before heading home. I had some great fried shrimp, lots of coke to drink, and dessert in a little metal bucket. I had a book with me too so I got to read while I ate. Daisy napped.

As we crossed the state line into Kewanee MS, I saw one of the brown roadside signs along the interstate for Simmons-Wright General store. I made a spur of the moment decision to stop and see what it was and am so glad I did. Originally built in 1884, it has been in the same family every since. Now they sell antiques, grocery items, and consignment stuff. There are many things original to the store on display throughout the place. My favorite was the shoes. Years ago, the upstairs was where the shoes and caskets were sold. There are no more caskets now, but there is a whole wall of shoeboxes, with 40-50-year old shoes in them, some on display. The original prices were between $2-$3 per pair.  Behind the store, but not yet open to the public, is an old cotton gin, blacksmith shop, and some other buildings I don't remember.The whole place was full of neat, old things. I took a few pictures to show the family and to remember how much fun I had browsing.

This morning, a friend from my elementary school days was in town and she and her 3 kids came over for a short visit. It was nice to catch up a little with her.


This trip to Tuscaloosa was such fun. I love doing things with Matt and with all of us as a family, but it was new to do something on my own (with Daisy)Not having the feeling that I need to get back home within a few hours was very refreshing. No one was there waiting for me to arrive so there was no rush to get there. It was only a small challenge, but one I needed. I think I'd gotten too bogged down being a mom, spending most days in the house tending and cleaning. I needed to do something different, and feel that I can do other things  besides mommy-duties. I needed to feel that sense of accomplishment I got after cleaning two closets and doing other things that I'd put off for so long. And the fun of leaning a dance, staying up late watching a movie without interruption. At risk of sounding irresponsible as a mother or even selfish, I needed to feel independent for a little bit. Why should driving 200 miles on an uncomplicated route make me feel good about myself? Was it really a big deal? Yes. It was. Drowning in the midst of a world of childcare was making me feel unaccomplished and incapable. Constantly thinking about cooking for everyone, keeping track of who ate and can have a snack, staying on top of laundry, dealing with discipline issues, was sucking the life out of me. I felt like I was losing my indentity. I was the wife of Matt, mom of 5, homeschool teacher, baby tender. But I wasn't much as Rose. I remember Mom correcting us when we were little and would say her name was "mom". She'd answer, "No, my title is 'mom'. My name is Mary." It seemed like an unimportant detail at the time. But now I understand. So this 10 day staycation has been a breath of fresh air in Rose's life. I'm missing my family; will be glad to see them. Trading the silent hours for constant chatter and hearing "mom" repeatedly will be an adjustment, but one I'm glad to do because this is what Rose has been given to do. 

Matt is an awesome husband, daddy, and brother to do what he's done. Melissa is an awesome aunt to take on 4 more kids with her own 4 for over a week. This is a week the cousins will remember for a long time I hope. I sure won't forget it.