Changing Seasons

Today is High Attendance Day at church, but two members won't be there.Cassie and I are home  this morning while the other kids went with Matt. Cassie started throwing up last night, and did so all night, even though her little belly was empty of food or drink.She'd sleep about an hour, cry, throw up, then lay back down. Repeat. Again. And Again. All night long. I had her on a mattress in mine and Matt's room so I could tend her quickly and easily, plus when you're sick your always need a little extra special something like getting to get to sleep in Daddy's and Mama's room. Since she's not had a fever Matt and I are wondering if it's food poisoning. Right now she's asleep,sucking her thumb, on the sofa, wrapped up in Robie, her favorite blanket/robe.

Last night being a rough night, we didn't wake up until 45 minutes before Sunday School time. Matt got dressed then stepped out of the room and told the kids to get dressed. I fixed hair, and put Micah's shoes on him, but other than that, our kids got themselves ready, and found something to eat. I guess because I wasn't rushing around getting ready too, I relaxed enough to realize we've arrived at a new season with our kids, and I like it. They were ready on time, basically on their own, looked nice, and fed themselves. And I think their breakfast choices weren't too bad. Felicity started with bubble gum, but I made her spit that out and pick something else. I think homemade lemon bars, mozzarella cheese sticks, and bread and butter were the main features of breakfast. Ahhh. A little independence goes a long way to making Mama feel energized. :)

....And lunch is being served at church today. I love eating at church. The food is wonderful, and I don't have to cook more than one dish. Sigh. Oh well. We have lots of food ready  in the fridge, it's just nice to eat something I didn't have to cook.

On a brighter note, the weather is wonderful here this weekend. We have door open, Matt did a lot of yard work yesterday so now we don't look like we live in an abandoned house in the woods. :) But this weather is just a teaser; highs in the high 80's again this week. Eagerly awaiting fall time here in South MS.

Rose

Start Spreadin' the News!

Probably most people who read my blog are on Facebook too, but I view this as sort of a journal (one day I plan to print my posts out....) so pardon the repeat of a recent FB post.

We're expecting baby #5 in April. The 17th is my due date, so Cassie might get a brother or sister as a birthday present. (Her birthday is the 19th.) We found out the second week of August, but decided to wait to share the news until I had an ultrasound picture to show off. :) At the time it sounded like a fun idea, since with all my other pregnancies we've told within a day or so of finding out ourselves. Then I found out the first ultrasound would be at about 12 weeks. Waiting 7 weeks was tough, especially since my 4-times-over pregnant belly isn't exactly flat to start with, and I started showing a earlier than before. If anybody suspected my weight-gain wasn't from too much snacking, we didn't hear about it.

We told the kids the news last night and they were so excited. Felicity kept saying, "Do you really have a baby in your tummy?" like she was afraid of looking like a fool for believing me. Camie was so happy she was about to cry, Micah grinned a lot and asked if it was going to be born tomorrow, and Cassie had no clue what we were talking about, but grinned anyway. In the past 7 weeks each kid has at one time made reference to wanting another baby, and Camie even prayed at one of our meals, "Help mamma not have anymore babies unless you want her too." I was a little worried, until after she said the amen she added, "And I hope He wants you to." Whew. :)

This past weekend we made one of those speedy trips to MO to see Matt's family. It was his parents' 40th wedding anniversary, and his sisters were throwing a surprise party. They had a slideshow of pictures and music (instant tears for me, even when I'm not pregnant) of their wedding 40 years ago, their 3 kids through the years, the spouses, and then the grandkids. As part of the pictures of our kids we included the ultrasound picture to make the announcement. It was a fun way to tell everyone.

Micah got to experience riding a four-wheeler and a Rhino (kind of like a John Deere Gator). He loved "feeling the air" as he put it as whoever was driving at the time flew down the hills at Grandpa's farm and bumped over rocks and holes. I think he's hooked now. When Felicity heard us talking about riding the Rhino, she came over to me and quietly asked, "Do they mean the kind with a horn?" She rode only once with Daddy driving , and that was enough for her. She sure enough would've balked if it'd been the kind with a horn. :)

Below are some pictures from August and September when we had two week-long visits from friends and family. That was a busy (there were 7 kids one week, and 8 kids another, all 7 and under) yet relaxed (we just hung out and had fun) two weeks.

 Brandon, Becky's and Dave's youngest sneaking a turn at the computer.


This was our big group outing while Becky's family was here: Going to the creek. She and I spent a lot of time doing this when we were teens when she would come visit, so it was fun to introduce her kids to it.

Camie, 7

Cassie, 2

Zachary, 6
He and Micah loved this rope swing.

Felicity, 5
The water was the perfect depth for the kids to play in.  And for those not familiar with South MS creeks, that water is  clear, not yellow. The golden sand is what you see in the picture.

Matt found this sandbox lid and used it for a boat for each of the kids. He is so fun. 

Zach gets a turn in the boat.

Julia, 5 and Felicity worked long and hard to get themselves in the boat together. There was a lot of girly giggling on that ride.

My best fwiend.

Aunt Melissa brought a siamese cat for the kids. Camie loves cats and was excited to see one, but thought it was just here for a visit. Her expression when she found out it was staying here was so sweet.

Simon, the cat after his bath in raspberry scented shampoo. His name was Raspberry as a result for a few weeks until I talked them into Simon.

Thsese were taken at Fort Gaines on Dauphin Island. It was a hot trip, but so fun "discovering" tunnels and stairways in the fort.

After we were done at the fort we went to a park and had a picnic. Matt and kids climbed all over this tree. We finished the day at the beach, and the weather was perfect. We got there about an hour before sunset, the water was calm and shallow for quite a ways, and there were no jellyfish. I told Matt this was the best beach trip with kids to date. I guess it does get easier when they get older. And not having to worry about sunburns was nice too, since the sun was about gone.

This is a new bridge at our city park, full of Morris and Van Nort cousins. The kids and I had been learning about China that week, so this was a fun "field trip" to make. We also fed ducks and got threatened by geese. Not so fun.

Is there an echo in here?

Micah and Cassie are home with me tonight. After supper I asked if they would clear the table. Micah said, "Sure. I'd be glad to do it."
Cassie, trying to echo Micah, said, "Sure. We had to do it."

I have pictures to post but right now I've got to get some cleaning done. I was gone most of the day and the housework collected, and we have to do some packing to do tomorrow. So those pictures will have to wait till later.
Rose

Catch-up Time

I talked Felicity into scratching my back the other night and her little sharp fingernails felt so good. After a minute or so she said in her sweet, squeaky voice, "Mamma, I like scratching your back." I was thrilled to hear that. As I started daydreaming of many more back-scratches, at the hands of my daughter she continued, "It's like scratching in mud, your skin is so squishy."
Oh.

Micah was getting ready for church the other day and I had picked out his new navy blue suit coat for him to wear.  He loves this "manly" coat (just like Daddy's) but he didn't like the khaki pants I'd paired with them, being in a phase where things must be the same color to be an outfit. He kept insisting he wanted to wear his dark blue pants, and I kept telling him he didn't have any as I was rushing to help him get shirt buttoned, etc. It turned out he meant his navy blue sweat pants in his drawer. I tried to explain why you don't wear dressy clothes with play clothes. He got serious and asked, "That's called breaking the rules?" Ha ha! The rules of fashion remind me of the spelling rules of the English language: not always sensible and full of exceptions.

We had two wonderful weeks of visitors at the beginning of August. My friend-should-be-a-sister Becky and her family were here first and her three kids and our four had a blast. She and I loved spending time just being together after not having seen each other in 7 years. The only real outing we made as a group besides visiting some good friends was going to the creek for an afternoon. But that was fine with all of us. Just being here at home, shopping at the salvage store in town, hanging out at my mom's and sister's was plenty of entertainment for us.

Two brave girls in the homeschool group agreed to watch all 7 kids one afternoon for about 8 hours Becky and her husband Dave, and Matt and I could go on a double date. We bowled at a quiet little bowling alley and only paid $8 and some change per couple for two games. We'll have to remember Dollar Days there and do that again sometime. From there we took our starving selves south to Gulfport MS and tried out a restaurant called the Half-Shell Oyster House. Man, oh, man that was some delicious food. The restaurant was in an old building, (maybe formerly a bank?) with the brick interior walls and huge window overlooking the street. We sat in the upstairs "balcony" area.  It felt so good to just relax and laugh till we hurt. I provided plenty of entertainment with my bad bowling earlier, and Dave kept us laughing with his stories.
We drove along Hwy. 90, right along the water and looked at beautiful homes and pieces of homes, the remnants of Hurricane Katrina damage five years ago. As we were gawking at those huge homes I remembered having seen a bed and breakfast online that was somewhere near there. Matt got out his smartphone and found it for us. We went in and found someone to give us a tour. We finished the evening up by further stuffing ourselves with icecream at a little icecream parlor on the way home. Matt read jokes to us from his phone until the battery died while we Dave drove home. The babysitters said the kids did great, and they had them all in bed by 9 pm. We finished the night off by watching Hoodwinked at home. Dates are great. :)

Matt's sister Melissa and her family came two days after Becky's left. They have four girls, ages 5 and under. To help Micah make it through we invited some friends over one night for supper. They have a boy about Micah's age, and those two had a great time.  One afternoon Melissa's crew and ours packed up and went to Dauphin Island. We toured Ft. Gaines (Micah is still talking about and drawing forts), ate a picnic lunch at a park with huge, climb-able oaktrees (and most of us climbed them) then spent several hours at the beach. The sun was near setting so we didn't even need sunscreen. This was by far the best beach trip we've taken with that many little ones. The water was warm and shallow. Matt took his kite that he's had since before we were married and flew it. All of us adults gave it a try, but none of us were as good as Matt. He's not been able to fly it for about 9 years because his dear wife accidentally shut part of it in the car door on our first anniversary trip and broke a tip on it. Oops. But he repaired it and finally got a chance to try it out again.

Again, besides shopping, cooking, eating, napping and hanging out we didn't do a whole lot, but had a great time.

Now school has started back and we're trying to get in a routine.

I had some more typed here, but blogger didn't bother to save it, and there were other computer problems when I tried to post, so I lost part of it. Argggg.

Rose

Well-Versed

There's nothing like having visitors coming to get you motivated to clean house. With Becky's family arriving in about two weeks, I've started trying to get things more presentable around here, and attacked the spare bedroom yesterday. In cleaning off the bookshelf, I found a small journal where I used to write down poems, my own and some I read in various books. I'd forgotten about a few (Fair Weather Friends, being one), and had a great time re-reading all of them, laughing out loud a lot. Camie liked hearing them too. I thought my sister Sara, who reads my blog would get a laugh out of these, as she helped with some of them, and was even the inspiration for one. So if you're in the mood for silly or corny poetry (I guess verse would be a better word, since none of it is very poetic), read on.

When I was 15 or 16 we had a mutt name Beauregard, Beau for short, who chewed up all kinds of things in the yard. When we would step out on the porch, Beau would pick out of one of his treasures and bring it to us.

Beauregard

Beauregard has in his yard
A variety of things.
Sticks and stones
And prickly cones
Are some of what he brings.
He chews them up
That little pup,
and leaves them strewn about.
And straightway brings a little "gift"
When someone ventures out."
-----By Mom, Sara, and Rose, '95 or '96

~~~
For those familiar with the Advanced Training Institute (ATI) homeschool program, you no doubt have heard of ALERT  (Air, Land, Emergency Resource Team), a military-type training for teen boys. ALERT always had  a big graduation ceremony at the yearly conference, while EXCEL (EXcellence in Character, Education, and Leadership), the teen girls' program got a lot less fanfare. But then EXCEL was sort of a glorified home-ecs class from what I gathered (I never went to it), so it lacked the zest of cadences and marching, flag bearing, uniforms, etc. Sara and I wrote this song with quite a bit of sarcasm.

ALERT
(To the tune of "Turkey in the Straw")

There's the army and the navy and of course the air force too
And there's ATI standing bright in their white and blue.
But the pet and pride of ATI in Knoxville standing tall,
Are the sharp, the brave ALERT young men.
Let's cheer them one and all.

Chorus:
A-L-E-R-T, that spells the best.
A-L-E-R-T, forget all the rest.
We march, we fly airplanes, and we're out to save the world.
We memorize 1st Peter
(And we're terrified of girls.)

In the Northwoods where we're stationed
We all are tough and strong.
If the weather's bad, we just for fun,
Go marching all day long.
And at night when the temperature
Is 59 below,
With 60 pounds strapped on our backs
We frolic in the snow.

Chorus.

For all disasters and catastrophes
That citizens might face
We sacrifice our time and strength
To help those in distress.
Oh, whatever is the challenge, we ALERT men do it well.
And that's why we're deserving of the ladies from EXCEL.

Chorus.
---Sara and Rose Roberts, 8/17/97

~~~
A four lane highway was being built by our house when I was 17. Three bridges, two lanes each, had to be constructed within sight of our home. The giants machine/crane started at about dawn pounding the concrete pilings that supported the bridges. It could almost drive you mad hearing the rhythmic "wham....wham.....wham....wham...." all day long. On rainy days the work had to stop until things dried out again. Ahh, those silent rainy days.

Fair-Weather Friends

Fair weather, sun is smiling.
A soft breeze ripples through the leaves.
Fair weather, piler's driving.
It marks time till the workmen leave.

On fair days when nature is calm,
Fresh and clean with quiet light,
The workmen start at nearly dawn,
And pound till nearly night.

Stormy weather; rain is driving.
A wild wind rips through the leaves.
Stormy weather; no piler's driving.
The thunder marks time till the quiet leaves.

On stormy days, nature all unsmiling
Wet and muddy, bolts of light.
The workmen stop, they drive no piling.
No sound from them till the sun shines bright.

I've learned to treasure stormy days.
Some dislike constant rain.
But they're more peaceful than quiet days
When constant driving drives me insane.

~~~
This one, written when I was 19, I think must have been inspired by some child I was babysitting.

When you meet a little girl
Who is selfish and somewhat whiny,
Save yourself and her some grief,
And whack her on the hiney.
---Rose, 8/99

~~~
And here's the one about Sara. Our older brother called her Mrs. Webster, as in Webster's Dictionary, because she liked using big words. I wrote in my journal above this poem that she would get indignant and say, "It's not Mrs. it's Miss." And then she'd add, "Why am I saying that? My name is not even Webster."  Our brother thought it was so funny that she got so caught up in correcting the title, that she defended the name.

Because of her great knowledge
Of words four inches long,
We call her Mrs. Webster,
But in this she says we're wrong.

Oh she knows her definitions
And the words that with them go.
She can usually spell them
And pronounce them like a pro.

So you see that we're mistaken
In calling our dear sis
By the name of Mrs. Webster,
For it's Webster with a "Miss".

~~~~
And that concludes our Poetry Circle tonight. Thank you for attending. A donation basket will be at the door as you leave.

~~Rose


PS---Totally unrelated to poems, but pretty funny:
Micah was asking the blessing the other day. It included, "Thank you that we have food to eat, so we don't get sick and die."  That's a prayer right from a little boy's heart. This little guy loves his food.

Moms' Night Out

Last night some of the moms from our homeschool group got together at a fellow homeschooling mom's house for a few hours of eating and discussing ideas for the upcoming year. After pigging out on a delicious breakfast supper, and swapping books and website suggestions, and loudly talking over each other across the table, we got down to business: playing games, laughing and cutting up. One lady had brought a Scrabble card game, (maybe Scrabble Slam?). All 6 of us like Scrabble, it turns out, but we never got around to playing the original game. We had too much fun trying to beat each other as fast as possible.  You start by choosing a four letter word,  ("A nice four letter word" we were admonished, after a silent moment of holding back our laughing.) and at the signal, or just as soon as anybody felt like starting apparently, you begin slapping cards down that have one letter per side, trying to change the word and get rid of your cards first. I think what we liked best was that there were no turns, and we could laugh at the ones who spelled things wrong. Sometimes we all need a little release of pent-up stress after homeschooling and being mommy and wife. ;)

After we played, the mom who brought the game asked us if we'd noticed her misspelling on the invitations she'd sent out in May announcing her son's graduation. We hadn't, but when she told us she'd left out the "c" in  "school", we all lost it. And it was her mom that caught the misspelling.  It felt so good to laugh at ourselves, and especially at each other. Makes me even more excited about Becky's family coming. Watch out, Becky. There's going to be a lot of laughing going on that week. :)

I needed to put Lindsay's (the hostess) phone number in my cell phone. She was on the phone with her husband who works offshore 2 weeks at a time, so Bridgette, another mom, told me what she thought the number was. About the time I finished typing it in, Lindsay got off the phone. I told Bridgette I was going to call it and see if it was right. I snuck over in the corner of the living room and dialed and could hear Lindsay say, "Y'all, my phone never rings this much! Is that my husband calling right back?"
 I was mentally racing through all the things I could say, but when I heard her answer, all I could get out was my old standby: (In my best "Aunt Jemima" voice) "Girrrr', wuh-shoo doin'?"  (That's "Girl, what you doing?") I didn't get any further than that because when Lindsay asked hesitantly, "Who is this?" all the ladies in the living room with me burst out laughing. That kind of clued her in.
It was a fun night. We've decided we need to have an annual slumber party too. And maybe we'll let our daughters come. Then again, that might be a bad idea. ;)

Oh, and as I was leaving my house to go have some fun, Micah came out on the steps, and tearfully asked if he could go. I told him it was just for moms. "You always go, and Daddy and me never get to go." That's right, buddy. :)

~~~~
Camie and I were talking about what adoption means the other day. She was quiet a minute then said, "You know what I wish we could do one day? Adopt a teenager." Because, you know, teenagers are fun and cool, and they appear to love playing with little kids. The babysitters we've had do, anyway. (Money can be a good incentive for a lot of things.)

Zing Zang Zoom

Friday night the 6 of us drove to Biloxi MS to see the Ringling Brothers Circus, Zing Zang Zoom tour. It was a lot of fun, very exciting and entertaining for the kids and grownups too. This was an early Christmas present from my mom to the kids (and Matt and me), and Camie declared two different times during the show, "This is the best Christmas present ever! 
There was a pre-show starting an hour before the actual showtime where kids could come sit on the benches that make up the ring, and watch acrobats do handstands and tricks up close, see dogs do tricks, and for those brave enough, join in with hula hoops, jumping rope, etc. They cleared everybody from the ring and brought out a half-grown elephant who did some tricks and even "painted" by stepping in a tray of purple paint and then pressing it on paper. We entered the drawing to win the footprint, but none of us was the lucky one. I was just sure that out of 6 entries, surely someone from our family would win it. Oh well.

We watched camels and horses trot and dance around the ring, dogs perform tricks, and even some cats did some surprising tricks. I did notice the cats were a lot more determined than the dogs had been to get the treat the trainer would slip them after each stunt. Further evidence that dogs love people and will go to great lengths to please them, while cats put up with people and their silly ideas just to get food.

Of course the elephants were a hit. However, with live animals come live smells. Our kids are used to having an outside dog who does his business away from the yard, so they rarely smell it. After the elephants did a few tricks Felicity said,
"I think one of the elephants pooted. Something stinks." 
(Yes, Lissy. But, I think they don't waste time scattering sawdust to clean up gas.)

Other than that, there weren't really any animal smells,  which was nice. It was held in the MS Gulf Coast Coliseum, so we were able to sit in cushioned chairs in the air-conditioning.

Some of the things the acrobats did made me hold my breath. And a lot of it made me cheer and clap like the rest of the crowd. We don't normally go places that condone cheering (church service broadcast live on the local radio, for example) so I think the kids were surprised when Matt or I would let one out. :)

I think my favorite of all was the magic tricks, because I have no idea how they did some of them: Squishing up a box so small  a lady was in  that there seems no way she could have still been in there, then stretching it back out and up she popped! And she didn't look like Gumby either.

There were motorcycle stunts which Micah liked, girls who hung by their hair, clowns that had Camie sitting on the edge of her seat laughing hard, parrots doing tricks, and even a  live band. The show was 2 hours with intermission, and well worth it. Thanks Mom, for thinking of such a great family gift. It's one we'll remember for a long time.

~~~~~~
I've realized today what an appreciative audience a theater-full of kids are. We went to Hattiesburg today  to the theater where they are showing kid movies during the summer on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. It's $3 per person, which includes popcorn and a small soda. We rarely go to the theater, and if we do, we don't buy snacks, so our kids were pretty excited to have their own drink and box of popcorn. Matt came when he got out of class and joined us.
Anyway, about kids being an appreciative audience: They laugh right out loud at the funny parts. And it is so funny to hear a roomful of kids truly laughing. But the best part was at the end. They clapped! Who claps at a movie? I loved it! For $12 (Cassie got in free, and Matt got there about 30 minutes after the movie started, so he got in free too) we entertained our whole crew for an hour and a half and got to eat a snack along with it.

~~~

Tonight I decided to give Cassie a bath really fast while the others were listening to Camie read. (Yea!) It was Micah's day to put up dishes, and because of our trip to Hattiesburg this morning, none of the chores got done. I told him I needed him to quickly (you heard the emphasis, right? Why doesn't he?) put up dishes and then he could help me scrub the bathtub after Cassie was done bathing. Being four, the scrubbing didn't sound quite as "chore-y" as dishes, so he dragged his feet, but went on to the kitchen to get through the torture of dishes while I finished Cassie's bath. A moment later he asked where the big blue glass bowl goes. I told him to put it on the bar and I would put it up in the high cabinet later. Many minutes later I heard him yelling something on his way upstairs, sounding kind of urgent. I figured he'd hurt himself putting up a spoon or some other terrible dish-related injury. When I could get out of the bathroom and hear him, he was saying, "There's smoke all over the kitchen and I didn't mean to. I don't know how to make it stop!" I ran downstairs, and could see a thick cloud in the kitchen and smell a terrible, sulfur-ish smell. The stove was off, and I was frantically glancing around the kitchen trying to figure out where the smoke was coming from.
Micah pointed to the big fire-extinguisher we have in the corner and I could see yellow powder still slowly spraying out of it. Apparently, he'd decided to put the bowl up for me, which required climbing on the bar. He used the extinguisher as a step-stool, and since some child had long ago knocked/taken? the pin out of the handle, the stinky yellow powder sprayed all over the corner of the kitchen, behind the fridge, under the potato bin, and out into the dining room.

I got it all cleaned up without too much trouble, but in the meantime, put Micah in the tub with instructions not to let the water get too high. After a while I realized I still heard the water running, so then I  was running, up the stairs, to shut it off. Thankfully it hadn't overflowed, but the floor was very wet due to his laying back and making waves.

So the dishes are still not put up, but the kitchen floor and bathroom floor are nice and clean. Thank you, Micah.



And some random funnies:
~~~
Cassie loves to hold her fuzzy blankey and suck her thumb.The other day she was sucking her thumb and petting the dog, Buddy. Micah said,
"Don't pet him and suck your thumb. He's a dog, not your blankey."
Cassie pulled her thumb out of her mouth and said, "No he not. He Buddy."

Our youth minister is Mr. Boo. His name is really John, but he goes by Boo for some reason, probably been his nickname since he was a kid. But Cassie thinks his name is Mr. Boo-berry.
Our music minister is Mr. Darwin. All our kids call him Mr. Darling.
Our pastor is Bro. Hal. Micah and Felicity think it's Bro. Pal.
Mr. Danny is another man at church. The other day Felicity saw him and called him Mr. Dandy.
Reminds me of when I was a kid. Mom had a friend named Mrs. Peggy. I liked the Muppets, so I called her Mrs. Piggy for years, thinking that really was her name.
 ~~~
Camie and I stopped by a Salvation Army store today in Hattiesburg while the other kids rode home with Matt in his car. I should've known it was going to be a junky store when we walked in and it was barely cool inside. Later Camie had to use the bathroom. Only half of the lights worked in there, so it was very dim, it smelled a little like sewer, and there was a sign above one toilet. It said something like,"Don't push the handle down hard to flush. The water will keep running. If it won't stop running, reach in the tank and adjust the rubber piece."
When we finally had had all the shopping in heat that we could take, we went to the fitting room for Camie to try on some jeans. The ceiling had a big sagging section that was water-stained. Apparently there had been some sort of plastic bins in there at one time to catch drips. A handmade sign was on the wall in there too. I took a picture with my phone, but don't have  way to upload it onto the computer right now. It said, "These containers are not for clothes and hangers. They are for dripping water. Please hang clothes on rack." Yup. That's a high-class thrift store for you. :)
~~~
And speaking  of signs, one of my favorites is on the drink machine at the post office:
"NO SIGNS ALLOWED.
             I will remove it.
               -----Postmaster"


While we were eating a thick ABC noodle soup, Micah: We're eating poor-idge. That's 'cause we're poor."

Little short, fat 8 year old boy in Children's Church after wresting with 6'2" Matt said,
"Uh-huh. Who's Big Daddy now?" 
(Well, let's see. You're neither Big nor a Daddy, so I think that disqualifies you.)

One Southern little boy taunting another's drawl, "He has a ackkksent." Sadly, the taunter didn't realize his was just as strong.